Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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