I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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