people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
