how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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