just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.