The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Randomize
