when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
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At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
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Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.