i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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