Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My breath smells like gin and sadness
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
