im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
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Threesome in a minivan. New low
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
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My vagina just clenched in fear
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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