you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
