I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
