dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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