I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize