You made me cry and you don't even care
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
