oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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