i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Acid is not a monday night drug
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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