Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
