I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
