Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
