I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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