i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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