only you would photoshop your dick
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
