How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
