she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
