I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
