just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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