i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
