South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
