They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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