His pubic hair was longer than his dick
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
