ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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