It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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