Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Boobs are out for the taking
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
