I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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