she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
