Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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