i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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