Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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