My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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