Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
