I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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