His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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