White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
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He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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