I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize