Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
