I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize