it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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