Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
