idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
