shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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