Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
