So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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