I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
