omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
