Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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