somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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