We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize