Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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