He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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