I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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