So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
