his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
