It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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