the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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