i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
