Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
