oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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