16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize