i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize