So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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